I think a great way to start discussing this next habit is a metaphor the book uses- a computer programmer. If Habit 1 makes you the ‘computer programmer’, then Habit 2 is the ‘program that was created’. Habit 3 is you officially running the program the way you want.
This habit takes some of the themes I’ve discussed in my earlier podcasts, and blogs. How do you manage your time? What do you spend your time doing? Really observe it, and think about it. Think through everything, even the things that seem robotic at times. Many of us spend our times focusing on things that literally add zero value to anything we do. They are time wasting routines, or habits. We might talk a great game on all of these things we want to accomplish, however, we do nothing of substance to get us there. Doing some of those ‘time wasting’ things are beneficial in small doses. An example is sitting down and watching a show, or movie (one, not binging!). Sometimes those are important to decompress, and get your mind off things. Plus, nothing beats a solid show- speaking of, have you guys seen ‘The Handmaids Tale’? Solid show, personal opinion of course.
The book asks a question that was a game changer, that in turn I want to ask you. What thing could you do today, and going forward that would dramatically impact the trajectory of your life both personally and professionally? Lets start with me personally. I realized I could do a better job coming home to visit my family for key events (ie: birthdays), or calling/texting my family and friends more often to check on them. As I shared in other podcasts, I felt I could be very self involved sometimes. We probably all can be in this day and age. It was time that I step out of this. I also determined that I wanted to put myself out there and join organizations, and clubs within my city to meet more people and expand. It’s allowed me to meet new individuals in healthier circumstances (not the bar), and build friendships. Professionally, I wanted to take more time to share learnings with my teams. Taking the time to sit, and talk more with my entire team- not just my leaders. This allowed me to know more about them as individuals, and understand what’s going on in their lives. I’m hoping these both over time build on the relationships that were already there.
Relationship building is actually one of the major focuses we should be implementing according to Stephen Covey. He uses a diagram in the book that breaks down how, and what we should be focusing on- putting first things first. The list goes as follows: Prevention, Personal Care Activities, Relationship Building, Recognizing new opportunities, Planning, and Recreation. Things outside of this block are time wasters (for the most part).
What was preventing me from doing the things I shared above? I honestly was delaying for no specific reason. I watched Netflix, went to bars, watched YouTube videos, scrolled instagram, and just sat there at times like a blob. Sounds amazing, right? I had to decide to run the program differently (using metaphor from beginning). So I did. I had to make that decision. Even though it’s still in the beginning stages, I am much more of the person I want to be today. I also would go on a limb and say that my family, friends, and team feel they connect with this person more also.
I’m definitely more of a routine person, so I can really keep something new going once I start to put emphasis on it. Not everyone is like this! This ties into effective time management. Are there things you want to do, but you get frustrated at yourself due to the lack of motivation? Build it into your calendar! I will tell you that I use my calendar (professional wise) like it’s my bible. Do things come up where I need to reschedule? YES! That’s life. However, I’m much more diligent on following it once it’s on my schedule. Things like statuses with my teams are something I consistently put on the calendar. My ‘mental calendar’ is ensuring I stay diligent on creating blogs weekly, reading new pages of my book, and calling my family to check on them. You can use the calendar tactic even for simple things you want to stick too. For example, lets say you put in your calendar that you want to hit the gym from 6p to 7p, three days a week. If invites come through, or things come up that ask for you to impede on that time- say no, and schedule it at a different time. I run into this example weekly. Staying active, healthy, and in shape beats the happy hour with friends. I can always meet them after, or grab a coffee with them too. I have my routine, and I refuse to break it. There are those that even use the calendar for simpler based routines, because it helps drive more accountability around it.
Why is this important in the business world? We discussed in other blogs that without good leadership, you’ll fail to manage your teams effectively. If you want to truly rise and be a respected, engaging leader, you need to work on Habit 1, Habit 2, and start to put the things that matter most first (both for yourself and team). As you build connections, and better understand your teams, you’re filling up the gas tank to top off a strong relationship. This gas tank is so instrumental, because as you give feedback, make a mistake, or hold teams accountable, the gas begins to deplete. However, there is enough gas in that tank where they know you care about them. They know you have their back, and you want the best for them. There will be a sense of trust. When there is a sense of trust, others will work harder to support the goals you’re all trying to obtain. Imagine running a team on ‘E’? The vehicle won’t travel very far.